Top 15 police commments heard from around the U.S.

Top 15 comments made by our nations finest. Feel free to add your own.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretchafter you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate aworthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can writeanything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think itwill help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk ornot. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toasteroven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowedto write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend ofyours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?You're right, we don't. Sign here."

I like #8

Some things not to say to a cop:

1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
4. Are You Andy or Barney?
5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
7. I pay your salary!
8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! (I've kinda said this one before)
9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
11. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

I like when they walk by the wagon, and see the nitrogen bottle in the back. "what the fuck is that?" It's a nitrogen bottle. "What is it for?" For my suspension. "What does it do?" Here, i'll show you...."sign here." FUCK!

good stuff!

Originally posted by c10onfire



I like when they walk by the wagon, and see the nitrogen bottle in the back. "what the fuck is that?" It's a nitrogen bottle. "What is it for?" For my suspension. "What does it do?" Here, i'll show you...."sign here." FUCK!

Should tell him that it is an oxygen tank for when I get short of breath when I beat the shit out of cops who give me tickets