chuck norris is gay.......

I dont know if this one is posted allready but i wanna share it anyway :>

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.


When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris

HAHAHAHAHA

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter

Chuck Norris can tie his shoe with one hand

thats some funny shit!!!

My wife came up with one.......Chuck norris uses a taser to masturbate

Don't forget Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse and made a giraffe

And Chuck doesn't throw up he throws down