Bored......Funny Joke

Lets bring this thread back cause I have some funny stuff to share...LOL

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from
Kansas City to Chicago.


The little boy (who had been looking out the
window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and
big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the
stewardess.


So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess,
who as very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to
ask me?" The boy said, "yes she did."


"Well, then, you go and tell your
mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls
out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you."

learn Chinese in 5 minutes!!!!

Ok read the english meaning and then "OUTLOUD" say the chinese words.(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)


1) Thats not right....................................... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP.......................................... Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man............................................. Dum Fuk

5) Small horse............................................ Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach?....................... Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped in to a coffee table................. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift...................... Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here.............................. Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone....................... No Pah King

12) staying out of sight.............................. Lei Ying Lo

13) He's cleaning his automobile................ Wa Shing Ka

14) Your body odor is offensive.................. Yu Stin Ki Pu

15)Great..................................................... Fa Kin Su Pa

LMAO!!!

"Cajun Math"

A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he
passes a
little math test.

"Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using
numbers,
represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Cajun says, "Dat is easy." and proceeds to
draw
three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the
Cajun.

"Fair enough," says the boss "Here's your second question. Use the
same
rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Cajun stares into space for awhile, then picks up the picture
that he
has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that
to
represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty
tree, and
dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going
to
actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "all right, last
question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture
again
and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you
go. One
hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!" (Thought you'd like this one)

The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of
each tree
and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now
you got
dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a
turd,
which makes one hundred.....So, when I start?!"

haha those were great...my fav is the learning chinese

THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE DREARY OLD BIRDS AND BEES.

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
the father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a
date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked in a
secluded room, where your mother agreed to do a download from my hard
drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of
us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
Nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
You've got Male!"

haha that was pretty clever

hahaha! that last one was great, ill have to use that later on...

those are all hilarious!

ok I got one. THis is fukkin great!

So here goes.......


A little girl was taking a shower with her daddy (already off to a bad start)
She points to his pecker and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Her dad tells her, "That's my penis." She then asks, "When will I get a penis?" To which her dad says, "As soon as mommy leaves for work, dear."

lmao