time1
+1y
We always hear the rules from the female side now here are the rules from the male side. These are OUR rules!! Please note...these are all numbered "1" on purpose.
1. learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. we need it up,you need it down. You dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday= sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.1.Crying is blackmail.1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvioud hints do not work!! Just say it!1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments are null and void after 7 days.1.If you wont dress like the Victoria Secret girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.1.If you think you're fat, you probably are. Dont ask us.1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1.If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying,but its just not worth the hassle.1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutley anything you wear is fine...really.1.You have enough clothes.1.You have to many shoes.1.I am in shape. Round is a shape
Sorry for the long ass post, but you had to read this. Funny shit!!!