oldsklminitrk
+1y
I dunno what I was looking or how I found this .....but I thought of Seth when I found this cause of his sig that spork making dohickey.
I got these off of a website people actually do this shit.I thought Id share my randomness with ya.
Burial of a Broken Spork
If a spork is damaged, it should be given a proper burial. One must return to the site of aquisition of the spork and complete the ceremony. Pour vinegar oil all across the spork, making certain that the entire spork is covered with oil. Quickly, as soon as the drenching is completed, the spork must be buried and covered next to the foundation of the establishment of aquisition. No ceremonial verses are necessary, as it tends to be an emotional time for those involved.
The Baptismal Ceremony of the Spork
Though all sporks have a certain cherishable quality to them, after baptism, a spork is truely a prominant entity, deserved of infinite respect. The ceremony does not require any particular setting, and only requires one prop: a glass of a supremely rated carbonated liquid known as Dr. Pepper. The ceremony entails dipping the spork in the Dr. Pepper and letting the fluid drain through the prongs while reciting the ancient ritual verse: "Ko-man-bow-ee-shee-nee orchie-livo-tangerinie oo-ee-mo-zoo-ie dunk." (emphasis on "dunk").
The Planetary Defense Strategy
There has always been a constant threat of mal-intensioned extra-terrestrials landing on planet earth (Mars Attacks?). With the invention of the spork comes a way to combat this horrendous threat. If all the sporks in the world were gathered into this really big pot, and a fire was started below it, the essense of all the sporks would melt into a hot broth of spork. Then, if we got this really big spork mold, and poured all the spork broth into the mold, we could form a really big spork. Then, by elevating the spork into the sky (this spork would have to be really big, so it could be seen from outer space), standing it on its handle, it would be a floating billboard demonstrating our technological achievements. The aliens would then look at it and say, "Hey! They've got a really big spork!!", and would withdraw the attack. After all, it is a well known fact through the universe that civilizations with the ability to eat salad, soup, and meat with the same utensil are worthy of a peaceful existence. And then they wouldn't attack us.
And check this a church of spork